Category: Church Growth

Thom and Sam Rainer have written an important book called Essential Church in which they explore the reasons why millions of Americans have stopped attending church. Most of these people would say, “I just didn’t see church as essential to my life.” Why?

Generally, people drop out shortly after entering college. It’s not the fault of higher education. Rather, many people discover, “My faith is not my parent’s faith.” If we explore that statement further, the Rainiers explain, “In our surveys, most young adults indicated they had positive family perceptions about the church.” The families of 76% of those surveyed attended church regularly, and 73% had parents who genuinely like the church. So if their families like church and attended worship, why do they drop out so soon after leaving home? 

“The dropouts see spiritual hypocrisy in their own family. … Parents are not saying as they do … children are not receiving spiritual guidance from their parents.” In other words, while parents may be living Christian lives, they are not talking about spiritual matters with their children. “Teens must hear regularly from their parents or guardians as well as seeing their actions. Do as I do, and hear what I say.”

Unfortunately, we might be our own worst enemy. It might just be that by providing youth activities and youth ministers, we shrug off our responsibility to teach our children. “Pawning off the teaching and discipling of a child to the church without providing parental insight results in a greater chance of that child’s dropping out of the church. … Almost eight out of ten students who stayed in the church stated their parents or family members gave them direct spiritual guidance. … The children of the church need their parents to talk to them about spiritual matters. The doing of church must be accompanied by the telling of why it is important.” That’s not the youth minister’s job. That’s our responsibility as parents.

I highly recommend reading the book Essential Church, but the -Rainiers’ observation only repeats what Moses said many years ago: “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise,” (-Deuteronomy 6:6, 7).

“The neighborhood bar is possibly the best counterfeit there is to the fellowship Christ wants to give his church. It’s an imitation; dispensing liquor instead of grace, escape rather than reality. But it is a permissive, accepting, and inclusive fellowship. It is unshockable; it is democratic. You can tell people secrets and they usually don’t tell others, or want to.”

— Bruce Larson

The sermons this month are focusing on “Fellowship.” That doesn’t mean we are exchanging recipes for potluck suppers or sponsoring game nights at the building. True Christian Fellowship is a very deep, very intimate relationship with a vertical and a horizontal dimension. The vertical relationship describes walking with God and the horizontal relationship describes our intimate relationship with each other.

Fellowship provides us with security. Just consider the apostles, Peter and John – ordinary fishermen – as they stood before the highest court in the land. Because they knew God, they knew where they stood. They were secure and that security led to boldness. The Sanhedrin was amazed at their courage (Acts 4)! Likewise the Apostle Paul boldly appeared before the Roman emperor Nero because he was secure in his fellowship with God (2 Timothy 4:16, 17).

Fellowship provides us with a place to grow. Good friends encourage us to be better. Diets are easier when they are shared with caring friends who will hold you accountable. That encouragement leads to growth. Paul told the Thessalonians, “And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit… test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil,” (1 Thessalonians 5:14-22).

Finally, fellowship provides us with a place to practice love. On the night before he was crucified Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another,” (John 13:34, 35).