Forgiveness

In the book of Genesis, the boy Joseph was irritating to his brothers!

Now Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his sons, because he was the son of his old age. And he made him a robe of many colors, (Genesis 37:3).

If their father’s favoritism wasn’t bad enough, Joseph was a tattletale (37:1). On top of that Joseph not only had self-aggrandizing dreams, he told his brothers about them (37:5 ff.)! As a result, Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery and lied to his father about what happened to him.

We don’t have space to tell the stories about all the hardships Joseph had while he was a slave in Egypt, but the good news is: God never forgot Joseph. Later Joseph and his brothers were reconciled in Egypt, but they were worried that when their father died, Joseph would seek vengeance on them. Why didn’t he? 

When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “It may be that Joseph will hate us and pay us back for all the evil that we did to him.” So they sent a message to Joseph, saying, “Your father gave this command before he died: ‘Say to Joseph, “Please forgive the transgression of your brothers and their sin, because they did evil to you.” ’ And now, please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father.” Joseph wept when they spoke to him. His brothers also came and fell down before him and said, “Behold, we are your servants.” But Joseph said to them, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones.” Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them. ­(Genesis 50:15-21)

Why should we learn to forgive? First, because forgiveness frees us from the burden of hatred! Second, because forgiveness is divine. God forgave us so we should forgive one another. Third, because forgiveness is the foundation of love.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony, (Colossians 3:13, 14).

Better Not Bitter

Things hadn’t worked out the way Naomi had planned. She, her husband, and three sons made a move they believed would provide them with a new life. Things had started well, but then one disaster after another befell her. Life had become so hard she wanted to change her name from “Naomi” (which means “pleasant”) to “Mara” (which means, “bitter.” See Ruth 1:20.)

Life is hard. The world is full of injustice. Bad things happen to good people, but is it inevitable that age sours us? How can we become better instead of bitter?

Cut bitterness off at the roots.

Some people feed their bitter roots, but the Bible teaches us to get rid of bitterness as soon as possible (Hebrews 12:15; Ephesians 4:31).

‘Fess up!

Of course, that’s not always possible. Circumstances often blindside us, but Helen G. Lescheid wrote, “Coming to terms with bitterness seems to be the first step toward getting rid of it.” That’s a two-part process: (1) admit your pain, and (2) stop making excuses for what happened. How many times have you heard someone you love say through clenched teeth, “I’m not angry!” Come on! Admit it before bitterness bites you.

Become a forgiver

Here is the Christian key: Don’t let anyone tie you to the past. Stephen forgave his killers even before they threw the first stone! (Acts chapter 7) Forgiveness is liberating! But if that’s true, why don’t we forgive people? A simple answer can be, “They hurt me. I want to hurt them” or “I forgave them once, and they didn’t change. Why should I let them continue to hurt me?” We forget that we have been forgiven!

So what’s included in forgiving? Forgetting for one. Let it go, but there is a time for confrontation. God doesn’t expect his children to be doormats. Sometimes we hurt the ones we love, and we don’t even realize it. Confrontation doesn’t have to be hostile. In fact, confrontation always has the goal of restoration. We value the relationship. Love can conquer.

Finally, forgiveness is empowering. Refuse to allow anyone to crush your spirit. Forgive and prove you are indeed a child of God!