Tag: Anger

Anger

PEWSLAG – The Seven Deadly Sins

Sunday Morning Sermon
September 24, 2017
Ephesians 4:20 – 32
John McKeel

Introduction

  1. Batsell Barett Baxter once wrote, “Of the four major destructive emotions, fear, guilt, hostility, and failure, hostility is the worst.”
  2. What causes so much anger in our world?
    • Depersonalization–Do you ever feel like you are just a number in someone’s account list? Are you just another computer card? We have social security numbers, phone numbers, claim numbers, zip codes, addresses, accounts and the list goes on. Sometimes it makes you want to scream!
    • Selfishness–“I have my rights!” is the war-cry of our age. We have become very independent and very mobile. Can you name all of your neighbors? In the next ten years the average American household will move three times. Do you ever get the feeling that you are all alone? That if no one else cares about me, then I’d better watch out for myself?

5 Stages of Anger

  1. Mild Irritation. Things don’t go just the way we intended them to; we are stuck in traffic or the mower won’t start or the three-year-old has just sung, “I’ve been working on the railroad” for the fifteenth time and we become irritated.
  2. Indignation. We make a judgement about someone or something and we become indignant. However, we are still able to keep our tongue under control.
  3. We you can no longer be silent, the anger becomes “wrath.” Wrath always expresses itself.
  4. When anger becomes violent, then it becomes fury.
  5. When one completely loses control, anger reaches the last and most destructive stage, “blind rage.”

What does the Bible teach about anger?

  1. Anger is a God-given emotion that everyone feels and it is an important part of being a human being.
  2. As such, anger is not necessarily sinful.
    • In fact, God becomes angry (The phrase, “the anger of the Lord” appears 18 times in the Old Testament).
    • Jesus himself became angry while he lived in Judea (Mark 3:5).
  3. However, there are times when anger is wrong.
    • It can disqualify a man from serving as an elder (Titus 1:7). Aristotle said, “quick-tempered persons lose no time being angry, and do so with those they ought not, over things they ought not, and far more than they ought” (BAG).
    • Jesus taught that anger prepared a person for the fires of hell, Matthew 5:21-24!
    • Fathers are to be very careful not to cause their children to become bitter, the fruit of an angry childhood, Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21.
  4. There are times when anger is the proper response, 2 Corinthians 7:10,11.
  5. In other words, a Christian must learn the answers to three questions:
    • What should I become angry about?
    • What safeguards should my anger have?
    • How can I express my anger?

What should I get angry about?

  1. The New Testament teaches that God is angered by:
    • Sin, Eph. 5:5,6.; Col. 3:5,6.
    • People who hid the knowledge of God, Rom. 1:18.
    • People who reject his Son, John 3:36.
    • Stubbornness and rebellion, Romans 2:5-8.
  2. The Bible teaches us to ignore petty disagreements, Proverbs 19:11, and to refrain from close association with angry people, Proverbs 22:24,25.
  3. It also warns us that our tongues can fan a spark into a flame of anger, James 1:19.
  4. The Scriptures teach us to cultivate honesty in our communications and thus avoid arguments that lead to anger, Ephesians 4:25.

What safeguards should my anger have?

  1. “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger,” Eph. 4:26. Brooding over wrongs only leads to bitterness and if couples go to sleep “back to back” watch out when morning comes!
  2. “Don’t give the devil an opportunity,” Eph. 4:27. While there are some good reasons to become “righteously indignant,” remember Satan can quickly turn your godly anger into unrighteous rage!
  3. The Biblical answer is confession.
    • First to yourself, “I am angry and here are the reasons why.”
    • Then to God, “Lord, should I be angry and if so how can I express it constructively?”
    • Finally, to the offender in the spirit of loving concern–never vengeance (Romans 12:19).

 

Marcus the Therapist

QuillJohn McKeel

 

Marcus the Therapist sat down with Simon the Zealot. Simon was honing his short sword with a stone, then testing its edge by shaving off the hairs on the back of his arm. “Simon, you seem to be a little upset right now.”

Simon rubbed his thumb along the blade drawing a bead of blood as he looked up. He clenched his teeth, narrowed his eyes and spat, “Right about that!”

“Would you like to talk about it?” Marcus asked.

Simon drew a deep breath and then let it out slowly. “Do you think it would help?” he asked.

Marcus smiled knowingly. “It just might.”

“Well,” the Zealot began, “those pansy priests are taking advantage of the poor pilgrims” he said. Marcus cringed at the word “pansy” but nodded and said, “Hmm. Go on.”

“Ya see, the pilgrims walk for hundreds of miles to worship in the Temple,” the crusty Simon observed. “Some of them are leading or carrying precious little lambs they have raised themselves.”

Marcus rolled his eyes. “How will we ever mature as a race if these bloody sacrifices continue?” he thought to himself.

“Well, think about it, Doc. The people love those little lambs, but they hate their sins. They are consumed by guilt …” At the word “guilt” Marcus perked up. “That precious lamb will be their sacrifice to atone for their sins. Can you imagine?” he asked.

Marcus shuddered. He could hardly believe this was the first century! Hadn’t mankind progressed past such barbarity? “Continue,” the therapist nodded.

“When the poor pilgrim and his lamb get to the temple, the bleeding priest looks at the pilgrim’s sacrifice, shakes his head and points to some so-called ‘blemish’ on the little lamb. The sacrifice isn’t good enough. It’s never good enough. Then the priest points the pilgrim to one of the official lamb dealers where he can buy a ‘pre-approved’ lamb – mangy beasts,” Simon spat. “Naturally the priests are getting a kick back on the deal, but that’s not all!” Simon stood up gripping his razor-sharp sword. “The pilgrim can’t even use his own money – it being tainted foreign money and all. He has to exchange it – at a fee – for so-called Temple money. Only it ain’t even real Temple money. It’s a Tyrian shekel it is!” The Zealot raised his sword in holy anger. “I could just run somebody through!”

Marcus took a deep breath. “I see,” the therapist began. “Why don’t you sit back down and breathe deeply for a moment. That’s right. Try breathing in slowly and letting it out in one big exhale.”

With Simon sitting down again, Marcus continued. “Life’s not fair Simon,” he started. “Sometimes things don’t always go the way we think they should. That’s no excuse though for your losing your temper. You have a choice. You can choose to become angry and lash out and hurt others, or you can be in control. By not reacting to other people’s choices, you are really winning! Doesn’t that feel better?”

Marcus looked down at his sundial. “Well Simon, I think you’ve made good progress today.” He stood up, looked out the window and wondered, “Who is that Galilean with a whip over at the Temple?”

Moral: There is a time to become angry, but listen closely to the sermon this morning to understand the difference between righteous indignation and unholy wrath.

“Quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger”

James 119, 20 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

“Bad listeners do not make good disciples,” wrote British author John Stott. Like Grandma said, “God gave us two ears and one mouth so we should listen twice as much as we speak!”

The author then proceeds to give a threefold admonition or warning, using three key words whose themes are further developed: to hear in verses 22–25, to speak in 26–27, and to anger in 20–21. [1]

Quick to Hear

To hear what? James answers that question in v. 18: “the word of truth,” and v. 21, “humbly accept the word planted in you.”

James tells us we should be quick to listen to God, but how is God speaking to us today? Do you remember the story of the little boy Samuel in 1 Samuel chapter 3?

8 The Lord called Samuel a third time, and Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.”

Then Eli realized that the Lord was calling the boy. 9 So Eli told Samuel, “Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, ‘Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.’ ” So Samuel went and lay down in his place.

10 The Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!”

Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”

In the past, God spoke directly to men like Abraham, Samuel and Saul of Tarsus. Today God speaks directly through his Holy Bible and He also speaks to us through his creation. For the Christian, God also speaks through the indwelling Holy Spirit.

In addition to listening to God, we need to learn to listen to each other. That means listening to our spouses at home where communication is critical to our happiness. It means to be keen observers in the workplace and the community where listening leads to action. It especially means listening to one another in our fellowship.

When we choose not to listen, we are saying, “You are not important.” When we listen intently, we have the opportunity to say, “You are important to me. I love you.”

“Slow to Speak”

This is a fascinating admonition. James might be encouraging people to not quickly become a preacher (See 3:1 – 12), but it is also good advice for dealing with anger, his third admonition.

Slow to Become Angry

See Ephesians 4:26, 31.

Why is anger mentioned in this context? “Or, if we understand the previous admonition as against preachers who are too eager to preach the word of God, the anger mentioned here could conceivably be understood as a sort of contempt against or hostility to others, arising out of a person’s arrogance and zeal for the word of God.”[2]

On the other hand, this is simply good advice for everyone. Batsell Barett Baxter observed, “Of the four major destructive emotions: fear, guilt, hostility, and failure, hostility is the worst.”

What causes so much anger in our world? It could be a reaction against depersonalization. Do you ever feel like you are just a number? When you are forced to “Press 1 if you …. Press 2 to talk with …. Press 3 to …,” do you feel like you don’t really matter? Often, we are reduced to just a number and it fills us with frustration and that leads to anger.

Selfishness is another source of anger. I want things done my way and I want them done now. I don’t want to wait in line. I don’t want to take a number. I don’t want to eat __________. I, I, I and I become angry!

What does the Bible teach about anger? First, anger is a God-given emotion and anger is not necessarily sinful. The phrase “the anger of the Lord” appears 18 times in the Old Testament and Jesus himself became angry (Mark 3:5). However, there are times when anger is wrong. It can disqualify a man from serving as an elder. Fathers are not to cause their children to become bitter – the fruit of an angry childhood (Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21). Jesus taught anger prepares a person for the fires of hell! (Matthew 5:21-24) Yet, there are times when anger is the proper response (2 Corinthians 7:10, 11).

Questions

  1. What safeguards should my anger have?
  2. What should I become angry about?
  3. How can I safely express my anger?

[1] Loh, I., & Hatton, H. (1997). A handbook on the Letter from James. UBS Handbook Series (41). New York: United Bible Societies.

[2] Loh, I., & Hatton, H. (1997). A handbook on the Letter from James. UBS Handbook Series (42–43). New York: United Bible Societies.

Your Golf Clubs Will Thank You

John McKeel

Ray was a nice guy. I couldn’t do what he did. Ray was a bus driver and every day had to deal with bad drivers and irate passengers. He was responsible for people’s safety and he took that responsibility seriously but Ray had a problem. He was the angriest man I ever knew.

Playing golf with Ray was a unique experience. If a shot went foul, Ray’s face would turn red. The veins on his neck would begin to flare. A string of profanity would pour out of his mouth and he would bend his club over his knee and fling it into a tree or the water trap. That would make him even angrier and balls and clubs would soon be pouring out of his bag in every direction.

Perhaps it was therapeutic. All day long from morning till night Ray had to be reserved and polite. He couldn’t indulge in road rage and the bus company frowned on their drivers using firearms or martial arts on brain-dead passengers. So Ray would smile and laugh and hold it in until he couldn’t take it any more. Then pity the poor golf clubs and the people he played with on the weekends. He wasn’t pleasant to be around and his wife finally gave up. Who wants to live with a volcano?

You couldn’t say Ray was happy. Life robbed him of joy and his future prospects didn’t look good. What advice would you give him? Here are some of the things we talked about at the nineteenth hole.

God created us with emotions, including our anger. Jesus wasn’t a Stoic and we shouldn’t be either. However, there is often a world of difference between the anger of Jesus and our explosive outbursts. The anger of Jesus was righteous (justified) and he became angry at injustice. Think of the hard-hearts of the Pharisees (Mark 3:5) or the way the merchants took advantage of the pilgrims in the Temple (John 2)

Second, Paul advises us not to let the sun go down on our anger. That means not saving up slights! When I was a little boy, merchants gave out green stamps that you could save up, paste into books and redeem for items in their catalog (like my first pup tent). Sometimes we’re like that. Something happens that upsets us but it’s not a big enough deal to become truly angry about so we just file it away until we have enough little annoyances to redeem for a good fight.

Third, sometimes I go looking for a trouble. The other day Jan and I were in the mood for a great hamburger. The line was long (just like I expected) and I saw an arrogant, rich man walk right to the front of the line and place his order before the rest of us and especially a little family whose turn it was. They were just about to order when this guy and his painted wife pushed by them. I was furious and was just about to say something when he pulled out his wallet and paid for the little family’s meal. “Thanks Uncle Ralph.” The funny thing is I was disappointed I couldn’t express my righteous indignation! I think I was just looking for a fight. Ouch.

No, the best advice I could give to Ray (and myself) is to learn the power of patient forgiveness. Paul told the Romans, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil…. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary:

‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good,” (Romans 12:17-21).

Your golf clubs will thank you.